03.12 Expression of Faults & Affirmations

 
 

Taking full ownership of our mistakes, without embracing shame, and celebrating others, without thought of ourselves, form us in beautiful and critical ways. We can watch as these practices make us and our relationships healthier and more open-hearted.

 
 
 

In Our Way of Life

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Faults are spoken about oneself. Affirmations are spoken about others.

 

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We’re to be mindful of the appropriateness of sharing a fault in public before we do so. In general, faults or sins that were seen by or affect others may be appropriate to share with others. “Private” sins are better shared in the confidence of a safe friend, trusted mentor or confessor.

  • "I've noticed this week that I've been impatient with you. Please forgive me."
  • "I've noticed that over the past few weeks I've been too much in a hurry and haven't taken time to really listen to others in conversation. I'd like to change that starting now."
  • "You may have heard me speak unkindly to John at breakfast. I've already asked for John's forgiveness, but I understand my unkind words to him affected others. Please forgive me."
 

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When sharing an affirmation, we’re speaking about a specific moment where we saw God’s grace at work in another’s life. This is meant to encourage each other toward growth in love, kindness, humility and generosity.

  • "Mark, I'm grateful for your extra work this week. I can tell that you're looking for ways to serve, and this has been encouraging to me."
  • "Josh and Samantha, when you were having a conflict yesterday, I noticed that you both spoke patiently and kindly to one another. Thank you for this."
  • "Lee, I've loved getting to see you operate in your gifts of leadership. It seems to me like you're responding to an invitation, and I see the fruit."
 

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Members implement a regular time of sharing faults and affirmations with roommates, community members or family members as appropriate to their context. They also seek intentionally to integrate these habits in their daily life. In our way of life, we desire to be quicker to admit fault and more prepared to affirm the graces of God in others.

  • What can I notice are faults, failings or mistakes of mine that I'm most reluctant to name or own up to? Why might this be?
  • Who are safe people in my life whom I can begin to acknowledge these to as they arise?
  • Who are the people in my daily life whom I can begin to more regularly affirm in concrete ways?
 

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Common residential communities set aside time each week as a space to voluntarily practice the sharing of faults and affirmations. After prayerfully reviewing the previous week, members may use this time to publicly own faults they wish to amend as well as graces in others they wish to publicly notice and affirm.

 
 
 

We want to accompany you in noticing and nurturing invitations to honesty in your life.

 

Learn about our postulancy cohorts, which walk you through the common commitments of our rule of life, as a shared way of life in community.